Ok, I know I hardly blog anymore, but I just have to get something off my chest. So, anyone who bothers to drop by will be subjected to a rant (provided you read any further). So, at the risk of offending readers, be warned, read further at your own risk.
I had dinner last week with a sister and eventually conversation got around to discussing the "Quatif woman" who was gang raped in Saudi. I conveyed what I knew about the case and this woman went off on how it's all a lie and if it happened the woman had to share the blame and how the Muslims are being corrupted by "kuffar", yadda yadda.
I was so taken aback by her attitude that I was initially speechless. Once I got over that, I decided to keep my mouth shut and have felt terrible and angry about it since.
First, even if a woman is walking down the street barely clothed she doesn't deserve to be raped and she's not at fault. Same goes with a man. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot without an ounce of charity in their hearts and minds and Allah forbid they ever be raped and then have some dumbass say they're at fault, too.
Second, it's not "kuffar" corrupting Muslims, it's OURSELVES and the SHAITAN corrupting us. No one (Other than the shaitan and ourselves) can make us do anything. WE fail to control ourselves, period. We choose to be seduced by porn, billboards, scantilly dressed people, etc. We know these things are haraam and a test, and we will be asked to answer for our failings on the day of judgement. I can't imagine that Allah (swt) will take "but the kuffar made me do it" as an answer. (but Allah knows best)
Third, WHAT IS WITH THE CONSPIRACIES??? Seems like the common response to most of the negative things in the media about Islam is "it's a hoax" or "it's a lie". Now I like a good conspiracy as much as the next wacko, but give me a break! EVERYTHING in the media is NOT, repeat, NOT a hoax/lie. There's a grain of truth in almost everything, ya just gotta dig for it. It's called research, folks. DO some and LEARN something (maybe even the truth). And, just for the record, the "conspiracy" excuse looses its potency after the first 2 million uses.
Now, here's my problem. I'm so ticked off at myself for not calling this woman on this cr*p. Astagfirallah on failing to do so. I may not be a very good Muslim, but I would like to think that I'm a decent human being, and as such I should have defended not just this woman but all people who have been violated. I have my own reasons for failing to do so, but that is no excuse. So, I'm ashamed of this person's attitude, but more ashamed of my own failings. And I should be.
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Shamed
Ok, I know I hardly blog anymore, but I just have to get something off my chest. So, anyone who bothers to drop by will be subjected to a rant (provided you read any further). So, at the risk of offending readers, be warned, read further at your own risk.
[[ I'M NOT OFFENDED BY WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN. I"VE BEEN OFFENDED AND ABUSED BY MUSLIMS & NON-MUSLIMS ALIKE) IN WAYS YOU COULD NOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE. BESIDES, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION. AS IS THE WOMAN WHO HAS SO RILED YOU. WE – ME, YOU, YOUR OFFENSIVE AND OFFENDING LADY FRIEND INCLUDED - NEED TO REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FACT AND COMMENT. AS SOMEONE ONCE REMARKED, "COMMENT IS FREE BUT FACTS ARE SACRED". BESIDES, NOWADAYS, IT IS AN ALTOGETHER TOO COMMON FOR PEOPLE TO CONFUSE THEIR FEELINGS & OPINIONS WITH REALITY. JUST BECAUSE WE FEEL SOMETHING, DOESN'T MEAN OUR FEELINGS ARE THE REALITY. REALITY IS WHAT IT IS & WHAT WE INDIVIDUALLY FEEL ABOUT IT IS QUITE ANOTHER MATTER AND OFTEN TIMES BESIDE THE POINT. IN ANY CASE, YOU'VE SAID NOTHING OFFENSIVE OR INLAMMATORY AND I'D BE SURPRISED APPALLED IF ANY DID HAVE THE TEMERITY AND AUDACITY TO BE OFFENDED BY YOUR UNDERSTANDABLE REACTION TO THAT WHACKY WOMAN'S DIATRIBE.]]
I had dinner last week with a sister and eventually conversation got around to discussing the "Quatif woman" who was gang raped in Saudi. I conveyed what I knew about the case and this woman went off on how it's all a lie and if it happened the woman had to share the blame and how the Muslims are being corrupted by "kuffar", yadda yadda.
[[ I AGREE WITH YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND I AM APPALLED THAT AMY SANE, LOGICAL, RATIONAL, AND RIGHT-THINKING PERSON COULD HAVE VENTURED THE OPINIONS OFFERED BY YOUR "SISTER".]]
I was so taken aback by her attitude that I was initially speechless. Once I got over that, I decided to keep my mouth shut [[ HERE IS WHERE YOU MADE A MISTAKE. YOU SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN OUT. THE FOLLOWING AAYAAT FROM SURAH MA'IDAH [CHAPTER 5, VERSE 8] IS DIRECTED AT BOTH YOU, THE "SISTER", ALL MUSLIMS AND INDEED, ALL WHO CARE TO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES AS HUMAN BEINGS: "8. O YOU WHO BELIEVE! STAND OUT FIRMLY FOR GOD, AS WITNESSES TO FAIR DEALING, AND LET NOT THE HATRED OF OTHERS TO YOU MAKE YOU SWERVE TO WRONG AND DEPART FROM JUSTICE. BE JUST: THAT IS NEXT TO PIETY: AND FEAR GOD. FOR GOD IS WELL-ACQUAINTED WITH ALL THAT YOU DO."]] and have felt terrible and angry about it since. [[AS WELL YOU SHOULD (RESERVING, ONE HOPES, A MEASURE OF ANGER AT YOURSELF FOR NOT SPEAKING UP WHEN YOU OUGHT. IN THE WORDS OF THAT GREAT POEM "DESIDERATA" THAT WAS BANDIED ABOUT WITH GREAT ABANDON WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AGO:
"As far as possible without surrender
Be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly"
ADMITTEDLY "DESIDERATA" IS NOT AN ISLAMIC POEM BUT ACCORDING TO A WELL-KNOWN HADITH, ALLAH'S MESSENGER – ALLAH'S PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE ON HIM – SAID "WISDOM IS THE LOST PROPERTY OF THE BELIEVER AND HE TAKES IT WHERE EVER HE FINDS IT."]]
First, even if a woman is walking down the street barely clothed she doesn't deserve to be raped and she's not at fault. Same goes with a man. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot without an ounce of charity in their hearts and minds and Allah forbid they ever be raped and then have some dumbass say they're at fault, too. [[ YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. THE WONDER IS THAT YOU HAVE TO SAY THIS AT ALL. IT APPEARS THAT THERE IS MUCH TRUTH IN THE OLD ADAGE "A FANATIC IS SOMEONE WHO REDOBLES HIS EFFORTS WHEN HE FORGETS HIS AIM" AND MANY MUSLIMS HAVE BECOME FANATICAL ABOUT THEIR FAITH THOUGH THEY HAVE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN THE PURPOSE & POINT OF THEIR FAITH. WE HAVE BECOME LIKE THOSE DESCRIBED IN SURAH RUM [CHAPTER 30 VERSE 32]: "MERE SECTS, EACH ONE REJOICING IN THAT WHICH IS WITH IT."]]
Second, it's not "kuffar" corrupting Muslims, it's OURSELVES and the SHAITAN corrupting us. No one (Other than the shaitan and ourselves) can make us do anything. WE fail to control ourselves, period. We choose to be seduced by porn, billboards, scantilly dressed people, etc. We know these things are haraam and a test, and we will be asked to answer for our failings on the day of judgement. I can't imagine that Allah (swt) will take "but the kuffar made me do it" as an answer. (but Allah knows best) [[ YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. I RECOMMEND YOU READ GAI EATON'S BOOKS, "ISLAM AND THE DESTINY OF MAN" AND " REMEMBERING GOD: REFLECTIONS ON ISLAM" AND LISTEN TO THE LECTURE ON "THE VICTORY OF ISLAM" BY SHEIKH ABDAL HAKIM MURAD (formerly PROFESSOR T.J. WHITE OF CAMBRDIGE UNIVERSITY) ON MASUD.CO.UK. INSHA'ALLAH TA'ALA, YOU WILL FIND THAT ALHAMDULILLAH, MANY MUSLIMS ARE ABOVE THE KIND OF PEURILE NONSENSE SPOUTED BY YOUR "SISTER". ]]
Third, WHAT IS WITH THE CONSPIRACIES??? Seems like the common response to most of the negative things in the media about Islam is "it's a hoax" or "it's a lie". Now I like a good conspiracy as much as the next wacko, but give me a break! EVERYTHING in the media is NOT, repeat, NOT a hoax/lie. There's a grain of truth in almost everything, ya just gotta dig for it. It's called research, folks. DO some and LEARN something (maybe even the truth). And, just for the record, the "conspiracy" excuse looses its potency after the first 2 million uses. [[ SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT. IN FACT I OFTEN MARVEL AT MUSLIMS. THE FIRST WORD OF THE QURAN THAT WAS REVEALED WAS "READ!" BUT MUSLIMS ARE AMIONG THE LEAST WELL-READ PEOPLE I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED. AND THIS BRASH AND BRAZEN INERTIA IN THE FACE OF VERSE 36 IN SURAH BANI ISRA'IL [CHAPTER 17]: "AND PURSUE NOT THAT OF WHICH yOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE; FOR EVERY ACT OF HEARING, OR OF SEEING OR OF (FEELING IN) THE HEART WILL BE ENQUIRED INTO (ON THE DAY OF RECKONING)." ]]
Now, here's my problem. I'm so ticked off at myself for not calling this woman on this cr*p. Astagfirallah on failing to do so. I may not be a very good Muslim, but I would like to think that I'm a decent human being, and as such I should have defended not just this woman but all people who have been violated. I have my own reasons for failing to do so, but that is no excuse. So, I'm ashamed of this person's attitude, but more ashamed of my own failings. And I should be.
[[AND WELL YOU SHOULD.]]
Wow. How could someone beat me to comment? I just think about that hadith about the woman that was pregnant(unmarried) and she kept going to the prophet(saw) to be punished and he kept turning her away...
~Betty
I hope ya'll didn't eat Greek food, because I will be super cheesed off if I here about you "enjoying the greeks" without me again!
~Bridgette
You need to go rent Finding Nemo. For real.
~Bartholomeus
And then check out My Side of The Mountain.
~Babar
Welcome to the wonderful world of Muslims. Denial.
Rain-I feel your pain! I too have been horrified at some of the crap that have come out of Muslim's mouth. Just because someone else is supposedly Muslim does not mean that everything they do is correct. America is NOT wrong about everything and frankly women are not the bestion of all things evil and sexual. I got an invitation to a party where we got dolled up for our hubbies and one of the quotes on the invites was that since the majority of women were going to end up in hell because of their mouths that we should try to get blessings by making ourselves beautiful for our husbands. WTH??? I am very disturbed by the misogynistic tones that run through much fundamentalism-no matter the religion!
First: Forgive yourself for your silence. Some sisters can be very intimidating when they debate an issue.
Second: Give some thought to the kind of people you want to share your precious free time with.
Third: Start planning now how you will deal with similar situations when they arise. Gaining the confidence to present our opinions as Muslims in debate with other Muslims is a challange but if we don't take that challenge on we risk letting the loonies define us.
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
Asalaam alleikum sis, and thanks for having the courage to blog about this important case.
What is obvious and such a pity is the deep level of denial in Arabic culture. Nobody can admit to fault of any kind; there is absolutely NO introspection or self-actualization, only the opposite. What a living hell it must be for an entire culture to be so deeply twisted.
The woman of Qataf will be Shahid, everyone oppressing her is only removing any sins she may have had (which absolutely cannot have come from the rape btw), and they are getting closer to Gehenna and sending her to Jenna.
My two bits - you have to really consider whether speaking up would have resolved the issue or if it would have just ended up in a free for all word fight. Chances are it would have ended up being very contentious - I think then it is wisest to let it go. There is truly no point in discussing an issue with someone who is not willing or able to consider another point of view. Do not be hard on yourself - I think you saved yourself from one heck of a donnybrook and I think the end result is you need to reconsider spending your precious time with someone who is so rigid.
I am deeply disturbed by how no one stopped to ask if they had gotten the story right. Everyone took what was published at face value. It was all based on one Arabic newspaper source not known for its balance or fairness. At first I also thought it odd to victimize the victim, but after hearing about the story from the people closer to the courts (NOT the media) I got a totally different account of what actually happened. I didn't know what surprised me the most: the courts' lack of outrage at the skewered and liable-filled newspaper; the Saudi government's apologetic stance towards U.S. interference who's own courts are filled with many more outrageous cases still pending or, finally, the international media's lack of verification for the story and continued reliance on ONE single (questionable) source.
Wow Joe Ken Gus that is really a way to look at it.
Now sista girl you still haven't blogged a bit in a long time.
I know why you feel bad, it is because you are spunky and you weren't in this particular situation. It happens to all of us and it happens for a reason. There are times I am silent when I should say WTF over. Sometimes it is strategic because I want the person to dig their own hole when I go in for the jugular. Other times I know that I am right but I haven't read enough to reference the right sources to seem intelligent or to back up my argument. Those are the situations that I hate the most.
I hope you learned your lesson and I hope to be hearing from you again. Peace out Sistah
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